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The Illinois Enema Bandit I heard he's on the loose I heard he's on the loose Lord, the pitiful screams Of all them college-educated women... Boy, he'd just be tyin' 'em up (They'd be all bound down!) Just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with the bag fulla The Illinois Bandit Juice (repeat) The Illinois Enema Bandit I heard it on the news I heard it on the news Bloomington Illinois...he has caused some alarm Just sneakin' around there From farm to farm Got a rubberized bag And a horse on his arm Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump That he just might wanna pump (repeat) The Illinois Enema Bandit Some day he'll have to pay Some day he'll have to pay The police will say, "You're under arrest!" And the judge would have him for a special guest The D.A. will order a secret test And stuff his pudgy little thumbs in the side of his vest Then they'll put out a call for the jury folks And the judge would say, "No poo-poo jokes!" Then they'll drag in the bandit for all to see, Sayin', "Don't nobody have no sympathy... HOT SOAPY WATER in the FIRST DEGREE!" And the Bandit might say, "Why is everybody always pickin' on me?" WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY? WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY? WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY? One girl shout: "Let the Bandit be!" BANDIT ARE YOU GUILTY? TELL ME, WHAT'S YOUR PLEA? Another girl shout: "Let the fiend go free!" ARE YOU GUILTY? BANDID, DID YOU DO THESE DEEDS? The Bandit say: "It must be just what they all needs..." etc. repeat |
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