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I bought you a postcard, thought it would be funny
Would have sent a souvenir, they took all my money
It's pretty warm down here but it ain't sunny

And I'm having a **** of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
And I'm having a **** of a time, my dear
Wish you were here

I tried to call you, I tried to call you
Long distance operators that only stall you
Besides the **** rates are so high, they just appall you

And I'm having a **** of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
I'm having a **** of a time, my dear
Wish you were here

Started out a nice vacation
Left the station right on time
Now it's turned to near frustration
I'm just a prisoner in time

Can't get a ticket to get me home, my dear
They just don't have too many flights from twilight zone, dear
So don't forget to feed my cats, Spot and Jerome, dear

And I'm having a **** of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
Having a **** of a time, my dear
Wish you were here

Having a **** of a time, my dear
Wish you were here

Seeing all the sights here, I'm getting lonely
I'd show you all the film I took if they would only
Let me go home dear, sincerely

I'm having a **** of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
Having a **** of a time, my dear
Wish you were here

Having a **** of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
Having a **** of a time, my dear
Wish you were here

Having a **** of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
Having a **** of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
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