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Chapin Harry Verities And Balderdash Halfway To Heaven There's no tick tock on your electric clock But still your life runs down. I'm halfway to heaven and my home in Forest Hills It's halfpast eleven and I've got some time to kill. I missed my bus connection 'cause my train got in too late And I'm forced into reflection by this half hour wait. Now I have been a straight man and I've played it by the rules I been a good man, a good husband, yes a good old fashioned fool. I have a fine wife and two children just like everybody's got But after fifteen years of marriage the fires don't burn too hot. You see someone's played a trick on me. They set me up so perfectly Gave me their morality And then changed the rules they set for me. Someone must be laughing now, Though it don't seem funny somehow, How the world's accepting now What they once would not allow Back in my younger days. The world has changed in so many ways. My mother once said to me so many years ago now Don't you touch those bad girls, so I never had girls Until I met my Mary when we married. My Mary then had my two sons My life as a lover it was already done It was over before it had really begun. You see someone played a trick on me. They sent this little girl to me, She is my new secretary And she's something to see. She's a nice girl, but it's a young world And she lives her life so free, and she sure gets thru to me She brings her pad into my office, she wears a sweater and a skirt And somewhere deep inside of me something starts to hurt. She's wearing nothing underneath, and I can see what's there to see And she smiles and says, "You wanted me?" and I'd have to agree. You know how much I want her, And I know that I could have her. I know I could, I know she would Make love to me, so wonderfully. God damn, I'm one horny mixed up mixture of a man. In my head all my life I've been a sinner, And in my bed with just my wife I'm still a beginner, But tomorrow night I'm taking that little girl out to dinner! There's no tick tock on your electric clock But still your life runs down. |
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